Saturday, 7 July 2012

Technical What?

Technology sucks! Yes, you heard me. I'll say it again. Technology sucks big-time. And, I'll tell you why.

The other night, just as my husband and I were settling in to enjoy a program we had recorded two nights ago--this part of technology is good--the t.v. screen went dark and the dreaded message of "No signal" appeared in the lower right corner. We didn't know that this was one of those irrational times when the telephone/cable company goes through a process called "initialization," affecting everyone's reception.
No message from the cable company appeared on screen to explain what was happening, so resorting to pressing various buttons on the remote which didn't do anything, I had to do what I always hate to do--phone the company for help, specifically "technical support." I hate this next part with a passion.

A computerized voice offers up a menu with seven choices, numbered 1 to 7. In the past, as soon as I heard my choice, I would immediately press that number and be connected. This doesn't happen anymore. You are doomed to listen to the full menu before you are allowed to make your selection. And, if you are two seconds too slow, a cheerful voice will gleefully say, "I'm sorry. I did not hear your selection" and proceed to give you the complete menu again. After the third unsuccessful attempt at punching in the proper number and being ignored, I finally resorted to yelling my choice. My spouse just sighed and muttered, "You're yelling at a machine" but miraculously, the voice response worked!

Successfully connected to "Technical Support" doesn't necessarily mean you get instant assistance. You are now doomed to listen to elevator music while put on hold forever. You can't hang up because this would mean phoning back and being on an even longer "hold." So, I held on while my smart hubby crawled behind the t.v., unplugged the cable and replugged it back.  Immediately, the screen came to life just as a real person finally came on the phone.

The lesson learned is that the pull-the-plug-and-put-it-back method works 99% of the time. If it doesn't work, then you really have a problem requiring "technical support."
Good luck in your mission. . .

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